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Outside, the grating drone of the machine was sporadically perforated by inane voices of workers filled the parking lot. Dale sat on the balcony debating whether to smoke his last cigarette now or save it for work. Getting through an entire shift in that place without one damn cigarette was going to be tough and make what was already a living hell even worse than it had to be. That, and he was broke. A fact that could not be ignored. That would just be denial. Denial would mean lying to himself. He may be broke, fucked up, divorced and miserable, but he was no liar. That was the truth.
After several months of working at the chemical plant the tolerance for sheer banality and pointlessness went up a few points. So, besides the paycheck there was at least one other perk to the job. Unfortunately Dale’s ex-wife, Claudia, got a lot of that paycheck for child support. The witch had managed to brainwash his own son against him. Little Shawn had transformed into a little bastard right in front of his own eyes right before the government stooges came to take him away for good.
That’s when Dale really started hitting the bottle. He drank before, but that’s when he really started hitting it.
Years passed. It was only pure nepotism from his brother Fred that got Dale the job at Doson. Funny what qualifies as qualification when you’re the convenient recommendation at the right place at the right time. Dale managed to slither right past the gatekeepers without the stupid certificates the peasants would need for a job like that. But he was special. He was clever, he thought, and he wasn’t going to waste time and money paying for a certificate from a course he didn’t want to do to get a job he didn’t even want to have. And he didn’t have to. Hell, he didn’t even want to be alive anymore but he was here now so he might as well stick it out for the show after someone else already bought him his ticket. Sure, now his life was shattered like a bad-luck mirror but life was all about perseverance and Dale Crawford was no pussy.
The machine stopped now. The voices had settled elsewhere. Dale decided to save that smoke. Have a little disciple, like a real man, see what comes of it later.
He stood up out of the chair surrounded by half-dead plants and moseyed inside the apartment. A glance in the mirror reflected a man with long drawn bags under his eyes and a pale complexion bordering on ghostly. His beard was more than nothing but less than a respectable true man’s beard and his hair was tousled and salted with grey strands.
How the hell did this happen?
The world was cruel enough as it is without those who are supposed to be closest to you throwing you under the bus. Oh well. Fuck it. He glanced at his Timeoid. Almost time. He went to the bathroom and found his gross towel. The one with Hawaiian beaches, pineapples and pretty girls on it, now stained with the filth of his body over a long period of time from having never been officially washed. He turned on the shower knob. He still had enough self-respect to turn on the shower knob and take a shower. He wasn’t a total loser. Not yet. No matter what Claudia kept brainwashing Shawn with. Maybe one day he’d get a chance to prove her wrong, like the lying deceitful bitch that she was. He felt bad for Shawn to have a bitch mother like that. Maybe one day he’d get the chance to prove that it was her who was the loser… Not him. But Dale was a realist, and realistically, probably not.
This shift was going to super suck, as usual, but that’s how it goes. That’s why it’s called work. That’s why you get paid. He’d lost perspective somewhere a long time ago. It was no longer clear how much of this shitty situation was due to his own choices and how much was just the pure inescapable fate in a terrible world.
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